Revision 248712005 of "Mad TV recurring characters" on enwiki

{{originalresearch|date=January 2008}}
This article contains synopses for many of the more noteworthy '''recurring characters''' that have appeared on the sketch comedy television series '''''[[MADtv]]'''''.

== Current ==
===Coach 'Sandoval' Hines===
Coach Sandoval "Sandy" Hines ([[Keegan-Michael Key]]) is a manic, short-tempered [[Catholic]] school gym teacher and football coach who threatens to kill and injure his students with outrageous methods. He easily becomes upset by disruptive behavior from students during school events, but ironically he is far more disruptive than the students he threatens. Principal Lankenstein (Barinholtz) appears to dislike Hines for disrupting his speeches during school events and they end up fighting at the end of some sketches. It is also implied that Hines had a troubled or neglectful childhood. Hines' comedic foils have included students Jeff DeShazer ([[Ike Barinholtz]]), Joseph Yamanashi ([[Bobby Lee]]), Tommy Hackenjos ([[Frank Caeti]]), and LePrince ([[Jordan Peele]]). Numerous skits involve a [[nun]] punching him out at the end.

===Tank===
Tank (Bobby Lee) is an Asian-American "Street Tuner" character in the style of the ''[[The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift]]'' film. Tank drives a tricked-out [[GM Daewoo|Daewoo]] and has his brother sit in the back of his car making it bounce, play music and turn on underglow lights when he shouts commands.  When his brother complains about the conditions inside the trunk, Tank will slam it down on him again.  Bouncers won't admit Tank into nightclubs, so he tries to pick up girls outside the clubs and impress them with his car.

===Many Shows! With Johnny Gan and Pongo===
Xing Lao "Johnny" Gan (Bobby Lee) is a Thai millionaire known for his desire to do women "hard and sloppy, the Johnny Gan way." He and his friend Pongo (Danny Cho) host the show on Thailand public access channel 43-C. Segments have included parodies of ''[[Jackass (TV series)|Jackass]]'', ''[[Dancing With the Stars]]'', and cooking shows.  "Johnny" Gan was actually introduced in the Season 12 sketch, "I will cut your penis and balls."

===Luann Lockhart===
<!-- Image with unknown copyright status removed: [[Image:luann.gif|180px|thumb|[[Crista Flanagan]] as Luann Lockhart.]] -->
Luann Lockhart ([[Crista Flanagan]]) is a stand-up comedienne notorious for her poor delivery, lack of punch lines and frequent bouts of crying. Her material includes bits about her abusive ex-boyfriend and terribly unfunny observations about everyday life. Luann's jokeless routine is mostly made up of nervous laughter and long pauses. Her catchphrases include, "Wait, I have impressions!", "I'm only fooling!", "But seriously...", "Now, let's go to the audience", "Let's not get started on men", "Will you talk to me?" and "Let me tell you about my ex-boyfriend."

===Inside Looking Out===
Pat-Beth Lamontruse ([[Nicole Parker]]) and Dontell Lamontruse ([[Jordan Peele]]) are an interracial couple who sing and preach against bigotry, despite the fact that Pat-Beth is unintentionally racist.  They seem to love each other very deeply despite Pat-Beth's racist comments. In later skits, Dontell realizes what Pat-Beth is really saying and tries to correct her or, failing that, shut her up.

===Jorge===
Jorge ([[Keegan-Michael Key]]) is a short-tempered Mexican man who works at a Mexican fast food restaurant, presumably modeled after [[El Pollo Loco]].  Disgusted by the meal choices and cooking procedures at the restaurant, Jorge often recites long, overly dramatic [[soliloquies]] about his Mexican heritage.  Whenever the customers order an inauthentic menu item, Jorge assaults them, either verbally or physically.  For example, when a customer orders "cinnatwists" from the menu, Jorge brandishes a knife from his boot and angrily stabs the customer's hand while it rests on the counter.  His supervisor is a put-upon black woman with herpes (played by [[Daniele Gaither]]) who yells "Jorge!" whenever he does something inhumane or wrong, which is often.

===Bae Sung===
Bae Sung ([[Bobby Lee]]) is an Asian man who has held several jobs, mostly as a translator. However, no one can understand him because he speaks the language of "Dumbass." In later sketches, most of them involving [[Ike Barinholtz]], Bae Sung answers a series of questions in gibberish, followed by his catchphrase, "Uh-oh, hot dog!" (On one occasion, he was tackled by a man in a hot dog suit.) 

Bae Sung appeared to be killed off in season 11 in a sketch involving the Taiwanese [[Triad society|Triads]] and the cast of ''[[The Sopranos]]''. He was then ground up into hamburger meat by [[Paulie Walnuts]] (Barinholtz) and [[Silvio Dante]] ([[Frank Caeti]]) and consumed by Bobby Lee, who promptly got sick and [[defecated]] Bae Sung into a toilet. (The sketch's final scene shows Bae Sung swirling around and going down the drain.) However, he reappeared in season 12 in a parody of [[Medium (TV series)|''Medium'']], as a translator for a future murder victim who speaks Korean.  Allison DuBois ([[Crista Flanagan]]) was unable to save the victim due to Bae Sung's poor translation.  The coroner, also played by Bobby Lee--and also named Bae Sung--spoke perfect English.

===Superstitious Knights===
Carl Hall (Keegan-Michael Key) and Ty Gray (Jordan Peele) are extremely superstitious and trained in recognizing traditional bad-luck omens. When an accident occurs because of (or indicating) bad luck, they try to break the curse by performing lengthy, choreographed dance routines.

===Eugene Struthers===
Eugene Struthers ([[Keegan-Michael Key]]) is a water delivery man who accosts unsuspecting ''MADtv'' guests backstage. His catchphrase is "Ho' Nuva Levo" (Whole 'Nother Level).

==Former==

=== Stuart Larkin ===
[[Image:StuartMadTV.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Michael McDonald (actor)|Michael McDonald]] as Stuart Larkin, and his mother, Doreen played by [[Mo Collins]].]]
Stuart Douglas Larkin ([[Michael McDonald (actor)|Michael McDonald]]) is a little boy with a constantly dazed and vacant look on his face. His wacky, borderline alcoholic, thick [[Wisconsin accent|Wisconsin-accent]]ed mother Doreen ([[Mo Collins]]), nags, scolds and screams at him for getting into mischief. One of her tagphrases is "What did Momma say about that, Stuart?  What did Momma say?"  For example, he is often seen eating different junk foods, and when his mother inquires about them, he simply replies that he found them on the floor, then shoves them in his mouth. Even though Stuart appears very anti-social, and naive about the world it was mentioned in some episodes (such as "Stuart Takes Piano Lessons") that he is genius. This was further shown when he had shown exceptional piano talent on only his second lesson. 

Stuart's childhood traumas, such as his father leaving the family, are often mentioned. Once Stuart said, "Mommy, Daddy called", and his mother, quavering, replies, "What did he say?" Stuart replies, "He said he's glad to be out of this hellhole." No matter when the sketch takes place, Stuart's dad has always left the previous Tuesday.

Stuart's catchphrases are "Look what I can do!" (and his subsequent break into an awkward, spasm-like flourish, once referred to as a dipsy-doodle), and "Let me do it!" (when an adult attempts to assist him with something; he often follows this with "Dooooon't" when said adult tries again). Stuart tends to push anyone who he doesn't want near him with his legs, he lays on the floor and uses his long legs to keep them away from him, sometimes using a violent push (for example when he pushed the tooth fairy, played by [[Susan Sarandon]], and making her fall onto a beanbag. Another example is when he pushes his doctor, played by [[Nicole Sullivan]], and throwing her out of a window when he realized she had given him a vaccine). Stuart occasionally refers to his genital area as his "danger zone," or refers to his genitals specifically as his "googoo." When pushed too far, his boyish [[falsetto]] is replaced by a deep, demonic voice. This voice is used when Stuart enters his "dark place", a glimpse into Stuart's inner turmoil.

Several skits showed Stuart annoying his neighbor, Harvey Makenthaler ([[Paul Vogt]]). Stuart's original name was "Scott"; his middle name is Douglas.

Since Mo Collins left the show, Stuart had appeared in only one sketch per season.

===Ms. Bunny Swan===
[[Image:Miss Swan.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Alex Borstein]] as Miss Bunny Swan.]]
Bunny Swan ([[Alex Borstein]]), more commonly known as "Ms. Swan," is one of the most well known and most prominent characters on [[MADtv]].{{Fact|date=March 2008}} According, Ms. Swan was born on November 25, 1966 (although in one sketch from 2000, she said she was two years old) and lives at 1040 North Las Palmas (the address for Hollywood Center Studios, at the time home to MADtv). She is 5' 2" and weighs 145 lbs., as shown on her driver's license when she goes to the [[Department of Motor Vehicles|DMV]]. Ms. Swan works as a manicurist at the Gorgeous Pretty Beauty Nail Salon (which she mispronounces as "Goja Pitty Booty Nay Salon").

Ms. Swan's ethnicity and native country are unclear. In one sketch it is revealed that Miss Swan is from the fictional country of Kuvaria, near the North Pole, and home of [[Santa Claus]]. ''MADtv'' 's creators insist the character was based on the singer [[Björk]]. (She was compared to Björk in one sketch, was referred to as Icelandic by the Vancome Lady in another, and wore Björk's infamous swan dress in another.) When a man asked her where she was from, she replied she lived downtown. One sketch shows Ms. Swan being fluent in [[Spanish language|Spanish]] while using an ATM. She told a man in a bar that her mother was Spanish, but her father was from Space. In Swan: The Homecoming, a movie she made with Garry Marshall, her father was played by Mark Hamill and it was implied that she had another sister: "Marsha". Borstein claims the character was at least partially inspired by her Hungarian grandmother.  In an early sketch, the character was supposed to have been a wig-maker. In another sketch, Ms. Swan goes to a restaurant with her sister, Kitty Swan, to meet two American guys, and the two converse in Hungarian and Czech. Despite her vague ethnicity, some Asian&ndash;Americans have found the character to be demeaning to the Asian ethnicity.

In all of her sketches, except the sketch where she goes on a date where she wears a swan gown, she is wearing her work clothes. 
In the sketches, people usually ask her questions but she never gives a straight answer, driving them insane. She usually says, "Okay, I'll tell you everything" (which she pronounces like "okay, i tell you evrytin") and "he look-a like-a man," both stemming from her debut sketch in which she could not identify a thief. Ms. Swan also tends to purse her lips, saying "thanks to you," after she feels another character has helped her. In one sketch Ms. Swan auditions for the [[Spice Girls]] and was unable to follow simple directions and spoke the lyrics (incorrectly as well) rather than singing them which caused the director to scream at her.

===The Vancome Lady===
[[Image:Vanlady.jpg|thumb|150px|[[Nicole Sullivan]] as the Vancome Lady.]]
The Vancome Lady ([[Nicole Sullivan]]), or Kathy Wajonowski (the character's real name), is a [[narcissism|self-absorbed]], cynical, [[bigotry|bigoted]] woman with a gaudy appearance (though the character did not originally have extreme make-up, hair or clothes). The Vancome Lady is the very first ''MADtv'' recurring character, appearing twice in the show's first episode. The Vancome Lady takes her name from [[Lancôme]] cosmetics and the fact that she once worked at a make-up counter in a fashionable department store. 

She crushingly insults every character she comes into contact with, her insults often resembling the jokes of insult comics in the tradition of [[Don Rickles]] or [[Triumph the Insult Comic Dog]].{{Fact|date=March 2008}} She moves frequently and has a different job in each skit because she alienates everyone around her. When being fired, she thanks her male employer for "letting me sleep with you" and exits, leaving her ashamed boss behind.  In one skit, she does not have any notable job, instead being a rude neighbor handing out candy to trick-or-treaters, insulting them and their parents until being run out of town by an angry mob just like in the previous towns she lived in.

Her catch phrase, delivered when she disagrees with someone, is "Tcha... you know what? Uh-uh!" In one sketch, the Vancome Lady was even a host of a gameshow named after this catchphrase. Her other trademark is plugging her ears and saying "la la la..." repeatedly when someone is talking or yelling at her.

In one skit, the Vancome Lady trades insults with Marvin Tikvah, until they discover they both enjoy hurting people. Tikvah, a producer, offers her an ideal place to work: [[20th Century Fox|Fox]].
[[Image:MADtvBunifa01b.jpg|180px|thumb|[[Debra Wilson]] as Bunifa Latifah Halifah Sharifa Jackson.]]

===Bunifa Latifah Halifah Sharifa Jackson===
Bunifa Latifah Halifah Sharifa Jackson ([[Debra Wilson]]) is a [[meter maid]] from [[Hawthorne, California]] who makes extensive use of [[AAVE|ebonics]] when speaking, and quickly accuses other characters' most basic assertions as being motivated by [[racism]]. Her character often rapidly shifts her mood at mild stimuli for comedic effect, aggressively arguing with characters one moment, then talking amicably with them seconds afterwards. She is often seen gabbing on her cellphone with her unseen best friend Sonya (who was once voiced offscreen by [[Aries Spears]]).  She often flirts with male characters, regardless of race.

Her catchphrases include "I saaaaaaaaaaaid...", "What'd I do?" which sounds more like "wharrri do?" and "Why do I have to [perform an action]?  Because I'm BLACK?!"  An early form of this character appeared in season one, but she was a doctor and more articulate.

A trademark gesture (seen in the photo)and often preceding reading someone the riot act, is pinching a lock of her bangs and smoothing them to one side, as though preparing to lay into someone.

===Marvin Tikvah===
Marvin Tikvah (Michael McDonald) is an [[obesity|obese]], lecherous [[Jewish]] film director with a predilection for [[prostitute]]s, [[cocaine]] and odd combinations of food. Marvin's children have appeared on the show: Mindy ([[Nicole Sullivan]]) is Marvin's oldest daughter; his other daughter is Michelle ([[Alex Borstein]]). (Borstein also appeared as Marvin's wife, Shelly.) Marvin also has a son, Sheldon ([[Ike Barinholtz]]). Mo Collins played several characters named Shelly; all were different and had some relationship to Marvin (doctor, fitness trainer, personal assistant). Marvin's catchphrase is: "Shelly!", followed by an awkward silence and then Marvin saying, "COME ON!!".  (The word "on" is pronounced "awn.")

===The Depressed Persian Tow Truck Man===
Mofaz the Depressed Persian Tow Truck Man (Michael McDonald) scoffs when his customers complain about their problems. He describes his miserable life, inadvertently making them feel better about themselves. Mofaz' complaints involve his job, his nagging kids, his cruel and violent parents, his grotesque, unfaithful wife, his evil mother-in-law (whom he refers to as his "Osama Bin Law"), and life in a one-room apartment with 19 noisy family members.  Mofaz speaks poor English, often searching for words with his catchphrase "Uhh, how you sayyy?", and using his native words "hellaaa, hellaaa, hellaaa" for "[[testicle]]s," and "kraimenech" for "[[vulva]]".  In each skit, he would be given a different title, following the form "The Depressed Persion Tow Truck Man Who [list of problems listed during the skit]".

=== Abercrombie & Fitch Employees ===
In a parody of [[Abercrombie & Fitch]]'s advertising images and hiring practices, [[Ron Pederson]], [[Ike Barinholtz]], [[Josh Meyers]] and [[Michael McDonald]] played store employees with names like Dutch, Cougar, Storm and Carpenter as vain, vapid, unhelpful and overly coiffed gay men. They would insult customers, particularly women, minorities and the overweight. The recurring sketch often parodied alleged [[Abercrombie and fitch#Employment practices|racist hiring policies]]. Despite appearing athletic, the characters were depicted as weak and cowardly; in one skit where they were beaten up by [[Lane Bryant]] employees for popping their tires because they were taking up staff parking spaces.

=== Antonia ===
Antonia Timmens ([[Nicole Sullivan]]), who spoke with a noticeable [[lisp]] and may have been mildly [[Mental retardation|retarded]], found everyday activities and normal conversations challenging. 

Skits featuring Antonia usually showed her attempting to perform a variety of jobs clearly beyond her limited abilities, such as answering a suicide hotline or piloting an aircraft. Other characters became increasingly frustrated by her, particularly when she would respond with one of her inane catchphrases, such as, "I have a cat named C.C." (pronounced "Thee Thee" due to her lisp), "It is possible," or  "I don't know."

[[Phil LaMarr]] usually appeared as a character in Antonia's sketches, even revealing in one sketch that he has played the same character in all of the sketches.

=== Jack/Jaq,  The UBS Guy ===
Jack/Jaq ([[Phil LaMarr]]) was a hyperactive delivery man for UBS. He wore a signature brown shirt and shorts, like the uniform worn by employees of the company the skit spoofed, [[United Parcel Service|UPS]]. The UBS Guy loved his job enthusiastically, but he also appeared in sketches outside his workplace. In one episode he stated that he loves his job because his dad and grandpa did the job before him.

In a season three sketch, the UBS Guy met the Vancome Lady (Nicole Sullivan) and replaced her as the [[idolatry|god]] of a futuristic Planet of the Apes-type society.

=== CLOPS ===
<!-- Deleted image removed: [[Image:Clops.jpg|thumb|right|Title Sequence for ''CLOPS'']] -->
CLOPS was a ''MADtv'' parody of the Fox show ''[[COPS]]'' done entirely in [[claymation]]. It typically featured police officers pursuing and arresting (and sometimes mistreating) popular cartoon characters or toys for various crimes, such as arresting [[Gumby]] for robbing a convenience store, [[G.I. Joe]] and [[Barbie]] for a domestic dispute and disturbing the peace, [[Santa Claus]] for driving drunk and smuggling cocaine, the Rock-Em, Sock-Em Robots for brawling, Wallace from "[[Wallace and Gromit]]" for animal abuse (of Gromit), [[Mr. Potato Head]] for public drunkenness, and [[Paddington Bear]] for indecent exposure.

In one episode, a rampaging [[Pillsbury Doughboy]] was shot repeatedly but the bullets had no effect on his doughy body, so he was pushed into an oven and baked, paralleling the ending of [[Terminator 2]]. Other characters included the [[Energizer Bunny]], [[Furby|Furbies]], a [[California Raisin]], [[Mr. Peanut]], [[Teletubbies]], the [[M&M]] Candies, the [[Budweiser]] Lizard, and the Budweiser Frogs.

===Dot Goddard===
<!--  Commented out because image was deleted: [[Image:DotGoddardMadTV.JPG |thumb|150px|Stephnie Weir as Dot Goddard.{{deletable image-caption|Sunday, September 16 2007}}]] -->
Penelope "Dot" Goddard ([[Stephnie Weir]]) is a neglected, hyperactive, gum-chewing seven-year-old with a low [[Intelligence quotient|IQ]].  Dot's twin sister Karen ([[Alex Borstein]]) is a child genius who has led NASA expeditions.  Dot and Karen's parents (Mo Collins and Michael McDonald) idolize and dote upon the gifted Karen, but show disdain and contempt for Dot, including abandoning her at the seniors home and hinting at physical abuse. Dot's father attends AA and has been arrested for DUI, all revealed by Dot.

Despite her genius and ability to perform advanced scientific procedures, Karen appears to genuinely care about her twin sister and to enjoy spending time with her in childish activities, and never seems to notice the hostility and utter cruelty her parents show towards Dot.  After Alex Borstein left the show, Dot still appeared in skits, typically with one of her parents wearing a shirt that said "My Other Child Is a Genius."

Dot is obsessed with gloves, wearing them all the time, and getting desperate when she can't. She usually tries to entertain people by saying "Look how little my gloves are, how are they ever gonna fit on my hand?" then she puts it on and says it's magic. She also seems to be unaware of the hostile feelings her parents (especially her father) have towards her. Dot usually causes her father to become even more angry, when she mentions embarrassing-but true-statements about his life that he otherwise would've wanted to keep secret.

Dot is shown as a very outgoing girl who can't stop talking about irrelevant things, but gets extremely shy when she is expected to talk. She expresses her shyness by fidgeting on the spot and sometimes asking "How come everyone's looking at me?".

===Rusty Miller===

Rusty Miller (Michael McDonald) is a college student at [[California State University, Fullerton|Cal State-Fullerton]]. Originally, the skits focused on Rusty's college life and his attempts to fit in with his peers, despite his nerdy behavior and annoying tendencies (such as his penchant for [[Zima]] and obnoxious tendency to correct people’s grammar). In later episodes, the character was revamped as the host of a public access television show, "This and That with Rusty", featuring interviews with celebrities such as [[Drew Barrymore]], [[David Boreanaz]] and [[Mandy Moore]].  A semi-recurring gag reveals that he has a gargantuan [[penis]] (in his words, "Not just in length, but girth too").

===Lorraine Swanson=== 
Lorraine Swanson, played by [[Mo Collins]] is a confused, middle-aged woman from [[Fridley]], [[Minnesota]] who gets into trouble when failing to comply with people's instructions. Lorraine wears high, elastic-waist jeans into which she tucks her shirt. Lorraine also wears an unbuttoned knit sweater (usually red) and her trademark oversized thick glasses. She speaks with a very thick Midwestern accent.

Lorraine has many dogs and a huge family, including her obese husband, Carl (played by [[Paul Vogt]] in later seasons), and her overweight son, Carl Jr., both of whom videotape her zany exploits (often taped on location). Lorraine's catchphrases are "Uh-huh-huh-huh!" (a nervous tic combining a laugh and cough), "Huh?!" (usually spoken before someone is done talking), and "Gaaaaawd, that's/you're cute".

Every sketch features a certain word Lorraine cannot pronounce; she repeatedly interrupts the other character's correct pronunciation several times before going "Uh-huh-huh-huh!" She was last seen taking a camping trip with her family, who all seem to share her trademark cough and glasses.

=== Hoppy Potty ===
Hoppy Potty was a Scandinavian pop group featuring Gunter ([[Will Sasso]]), Yarl (Michael McDonald), Elka ([[Mo Collins]]), Inga ([[Nicole Sullivan]]), and Schtein ([[Pat Kilbane]]). The group was based on [[ABBA]], and its name was an accented pronunciation of "Happy Party."[http://www.fakebands.com/fakeband_h.html] The group's debut video was "Meet Hoppy Potty."

===El Asso Wipo===
El Asso Wipo is a [[lucha libre|Argentine wrestler]] seeking work on the American wrestling circuit.  He has been played by [[David Herman]], [[Chris Hogan]], and [[David Arquette]] during a guest appearance. After the debut of El Asso Wipo, other wrestlers with offensive names were introduced, including El Diablo Negro (The Black Devil) and Señor Bag of Crap. El Asso Wipo's catch phrase is "I will break jur (your) back, like so, with my knee!"

===Cloret===
Cloret ([[Debra Wilson]]) is an unenthusiastic, lazy, [[clinical depression|depressed]] woman who routinely takes on customer service jobs. When angered she dons a distinctively wide-eyed look and finds the nearest microphone to shout into. She only appeared in two sketches, but has worked at a juice shop and as a gate agent, security officer and pilot for [[United Airlines]]. She mentioned in her last appearance that she is supposed to be on [[Bupropion|Wellbutrin]], but it makes her too aggressive with her kids. She mispronounces words and names often, then makes fun of them or the people attached to them when corrected. Her catchphrase is "What'chu want?", which she sometimes says while cutting off her own sentences.

===Cabana Chat===
<!-- Image with inadequate rationale removed: [[Image:Dixiewet.JPG|thumb|200px| [[Mary Scheer]] portrays Dixie Wetsworth in ''Cabana Chat'']] -->
"Cabana Chat" was a recurring skit during the first and second seasons of ''MADtv''. The hostess was gleefully lecherous Dixie Wetsworth ([[Mary Scheer]]), who had a deep tan, wrinkled skin, and a Southern US accent spoken in [[country club]] [[Locust Valley Lockjaw|lockjaw]].  She was prone to broad [[double-entendre]]s and flirted with all males who appeared on "Cabana Chat", including the beautiful but dim-witted Pool Boy ([[Bryan Callen]]) and her musical director, Dexter St. Croix ([[Orlando Jones]]). In the third season, Dixie revealed that Pool Boy and Dexter left the show so, [[James Brown]] Jr. ([[Aries Spears]]) took over as musical director. The similarities between Dixie Wetsworth and comedienne [[Phyllis Diller]] were underscored when Diller appeared on "Cabana Chat".

Dixie Wetsworth's catchphrase was "This is 'Cabana Chat', and ''this'' (gesturing to her scantily clad body and cackling) is Dixie Wetsworth. You like? I like."

===Darlene McBride===
<!-- Image with unknown copyright status removed: [[Image:Darlene_McBride.JPG |thumb|150px|Darlene McBride during her "Take Back America" tour.]] -->
Darlene McBride ([[Nicole Sullivan]]) is a country singer with a big hairdo and [[right-wing]] views.  These include:

*"The Lord loves the [[National Rifle Association|NRA]], He told me so the other day; He spelled it out in bullets in the sky. He's sittin' up in heaven with his AK-47, He's a rough-and-ready macho kinda guy."

*"'Scuse me Mister Negro, but I'd like to ask you a question: What's so bad about the back of the bus? You still got a seat like rest of us. I don't understand all the fuss 'bout you sittin' in the back of the bus."

*(singing about America) "And now look at it, a big ugly meltin' pot just boilin' over on what used to be a nice WHITE stove."

*"Love comes in many colors but it looks best in white" (winks at audience).

*"[[Jesus]] was never a [[Jew]]. Forget what you've heard, it's not true. The babe in the manger was no Hebrew stranger. Jesus was never a Jew. Sorry folks, his last name was Christ not Christowitz, nice try."

Darlene once gave her young sons high-powered assault rifles as [[Christmas]] gifts. A map showing the stops on her "Take Back America" tour created a [[swastika]] pattern. She also released a [[rap]] album entitled ''The Marshall McBride LP'' after [[Eminem]] "made hate cool again".

===The Eracists===
The Eracists were a group of motivational speakers who toured schools and community centers to denounce bigotry, while unknowingly exhibiting bigoted behavior.  The Eracists were [[Alex Borstein]] (whose character was in a wheelchair), [[Nicole Sullivan]], [[Phil LaMarr]] (later [[Aries Spears]]), and [[Will Sasso]]. In one episode it was stated that Alex Borstein's character is in a wheel chair because of Nicole Sullivan's character.

===Kappa Kappa Kappa Sorority===
<!-- Deleted image removed: [[Image:Kappa.JPG|[[Stephnie Weir]], [[Kathryn Fiore]], [[Debra Wilson]] and [[Mo Collins]] as the sisters of Kappa Kappa Kappa.|thumb]] -->
Kappa Kappa Kappa (KKK) is a sorority house at [[University of Southern California|USC]] filled with popular, slutty girls Amber ([[Jill Michelle Meleán]]), Gisele ([[Daniele Gaither]]), Hayden ([[Debra Wilson]]), Mackenzie ([[Stephnie Weir]]), Savannah ([[Nicole Parker]]), Taylor ([[Kathryn Fiore]]), and Toby ([[Mo Collins]]). Guest star Trish Stratus also played a member of the Kappa Kappa Kappa.

Although the girls genuinely seem to mean well, their behavior tends to be unconsciously cruel or destructive. If they make an unpopular girl a "Kappa for a day," they will play what they interpret as typical sorority tricks to try to make her feel welcome but which are horribly cruel (such as sneaking the girl out into public while she is asleep and leaving her outside naked.) Despite being aware of the similarity between their initials and that of the Klan (they always introduce themselves as the "Kappa Kappa Kappa, or KKK--but the ''good'' kind!"), they wear white hooded sweatshirts with the letters 'KKK' written on them and often use fire while dressed this way.  They once tried to "pass the torch of brotherhood" while dressed this way and attempted to give $100 to an African-American married couple with a baby; unsurprisingly, the couple thought they were a lynch mob and ran away from them. Another time they left a flaming [[cherries jubilee]] on the front lawn of an elderly black couple. Their competitors are the Zeta Iota Tau (ZIT for short).

===Lida Rosario and Melina Hacinto===
Lida Rosario ([[Nicole Sullivan]]) and Melina Hacinto ([[Debra Wilson]]) are two promiscuous, sarcastic [[Hispanic]] girls from [[Los Angeles]].  Their ethnicity is never stated, but their exaggerated Spanish accents could be [[Puerto Rican Spanish|Puerto Rican]] or [[Dominican Republic|Dominican]]. Lida and Melina have run a beauty salon, worked at a convenience store, appeared as guests on the ''[[Jerry Springer Show]]'', competed in a beauty pageant, and appeared on ''[[MTV]]'s Spring Break''.  Lida is frequently called "lesbiana" by Melina.

Lida and Melina's arch-nemesis is Rosa (mostly unseen, but played in one sketch by [[Mo Collins]]), a "skanky slut" whom they blame for stealing their boyfriends. Lida and Melina idolize [[Selena]], even calling her a saint. Lida and Melina also pertain to Rosa as a "dead bitch," and a "cabrona."



===Noodles & Nippy===
Noodles ([[Jordan Peele]]) & Nippy ([[Crista Flanagan]]) are two clowns (The Hype Jingleberries) who try to teach people the art of [[krumping]].  The two often preface their demonstrations by describing, somewhat menacingly, how krumping helps them control their urges of criminal and violent behavior. Ironically, then, most of their demonstrations involve Nippy taking some sort of physical abuse from Noodles, such as getting shoved or hit in the face, then allaying the audience's concerns for her safety by stating repeatedly, "That's just the krump," while holding back tears.

===Emcee Esher===
Emcee Esher ([[Aries Spears]]) is a fictional hardcore rapper who uses constant (censored) profanity and has extremely vulgar, though very short, music videos, which are censored heavily on ''[[Total Request Live|TRL]]''. He has released 14 albums since his death in 1998 and made numerous appearances on ''MTV TRL''.  His name is a reference to artist [[M. C. Escher]].

===Dr. Kylie Johnson===
Dr. Kylie Johnson ([[Stephnie Weir]]) is a doctor with various specialties.  She constantly plays practical jokes on her patients, wears belly-shirts, decorates her pencils and stethoscopes in pink fun fur, and generally never seems to take her job seriously.  Despite her antics, she is a genius in the medical profession, and her colleagues regard her as one of the best in her field.  Some of her antics include having a squirt gun fight in the emergency room, pretending that one of her pregnant patients gave birth to a teddy bear,comparing a man's sperm to N'sync("they're old, worn out and there's only five of them"), and recording a dating service video on a proctological camera.

===Reality Check===
Reality Check was a talk show on [[BET]] hosted by Belma Buttons ([[Aries Spears]]) and Tovah McQueen ([[Debra Wilson]]), two obese black women.  The sketches would begin by each of them partaking in food, and saying that it is "so good" that they would inflict physical harm on each other.  Then they would introduce a white guest who gets routinely insulted by Belma and Tovah until the guest makes a witty comeback, such as [[Tom Ridge]] ([[Will Sasso]]) telling "the two of them to get four chairs and sit down." Belma and Tovah would retaliate by first getting excitied like " Tova, do you feel something coming on? Oh, Belma, yes I do. Then they would count down from3 to 1 and then take turns berating the guest, then ending the show by telling the guest to "think about what we said" and then say "This is Reality Check and we are through!!!" after Belma usually would get a craving for food.  The only person Belma and Tovah liked was Bill Clinton (Sasso) because he put himself down like Belma and Tovah insulted people.  Belma once lost weight by "The Subway Diet" (eating trash left by people on the subway) and declared her personal trainer to be her new best friend, until going into shock, and then reverting back to her gluttonous ways.

Reality Check featured ads for products based on black stereotypes, e.g., Red [[Kool-Aid]] ("'Cause black people ''love'' the color red!"), [[assault rifles]] ("When the police shoot at you, shoot them back!"), and Red Rooster Hot Sauce ("'Cause don't everything taste better with hot sauce?").

===Real **********ing Talk===
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''Real **********ing Talk'' is a recurring skit on ''MADtv'' and a [[show-within-a-show]]. It spoofs other forum-style shows such as ''[[Hardball with Chris Matthews]]'' and ''[[Real Time with Bill Maher]]''. However, unlike other talk shows, ''Real **********ing Talk'' is known for its excessive use of (censored) foul language. The [[censor|ten asterisks]] in the title are heavily implied to represent the word ''[[motherfucker|motherfuck]]'', though this is never confirmed due to [[Federal Communications Commission|FCC]] broadcast restrictions.

<!-- Deleted image removed: [[Image:Real talk.jpg|thumb|''Real **********ing Talk'' host Dollar Bill Montgomery]]  -->
The host of ''Real **********ing Talk'' is Dollar Bill Montgomery ([[Aries Spears]]), who appears in every episode of the show. His personality is sharp, sassy and borderline belligerent. Montgomery's moderating style is a parody of other "sassy" political [[talking head]]s like [[John McLaughlin (host)|John McLaughlin]] and [[Bill O'Reilly (commentator)|Bill O'Reilly]]. However, unlike them, Montgomery uses foul language to insult his guests, especially the "token white guest" and Woogie Johnson ([[Tommy Davidson]]).

The black guests usually appear to be based on many cultural stereotypes (cheesey [[Apollo Theater|Apollo]] comedian, black-power conspiracy theorist, sassy black woman, etc.) and they use ethnic slang to convey their points. However, some of these guests surprise the audience by making very articulate responses to the questions posed to them. Many times, they may be antagonized by Montgomery as much as, if not more than, the token white guest.
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At least one "token white" guest has appeared in all episodes of ''Real **********ing Talk''. The white guest tends to be well-educated and high-strung, such as conservative political commentators [[Pat Buchanan]]  or liberal political commentators like [[Michael Kinsley]].  One guest who has appeared multiple times was F. Michael McCrosky (Michael McDonald), whom inadvertently offended Dollar Bill in every appearance, thus ending the episode due to everyone in that episode wanting to kill him or beat him up.

===Trina Moss===
Trina (Mo Collins) is a blonde haired women who has fears of many things. She has had many unfortunate situations that have happened to her (like getting a boil on her butt, having a hairy moss-like patch grow on her shoulder, a skin graft from a corpse-containing the nipple of the corpse-on her head, and even being attacked by a horse as a child then being put in a body cast). Although she has these unlucky situations she always stays happy about her life. Trina finds a man that likes her, and is even as unlucky as her. She explains to him in one sketch that she has never been in her room alone with a boy since she gave her uncle a sponge-bath when she was a child.
She also became the manager of an [[IHOP]]. She mentions in many sketches that she cannot bear children. She always rubs her nose when she gets upset. She makes a "ra-ra-ra-ra-ra!" or just "Ara" when she is excited. She vomits when she feels nervous.

===X News===
A short-lived sketch meant to satirize "edgy" teen news programs like [[MTV News]], X News was hosted by Marsh and Amy.  They presented news with a stereotypical teen attitude.  Amy later stylized her name to "Ah-mee", much to the joy of Marsh, who stylizes his name as Mersha to mock her.  Ah-mee stresses her rebellious nature, although hints have been dropped that she's actually from a upper middle class family (her parents bought her a car and paid her college tuition), while Marsh takes every opportunity present to insult her.  Marsh almost constantly seems to confuse "the Man" (an Establishment figure) with "Batman", and has latent racist tendencies (he once said cops treat him like he's black because he steals stuff).  Amy was portrayed by [[Nicole Sullivan]], and Marsh by [[David Herman]].

===Yvonne Criddle===
Yvonne Criddle ([[Daniele Gaither]]) is a self proclaimed evil woman. She has no regard for common decency and displays extreme responses to the most minor inconveniences. Based on her two appearances, her wardrobe consists of very strange shirts, all of which depict flowers. She uses almost every gap in conversation to repeat her point. Although she's despicable she's an extremely honest and calm person who has no problem telling authorities all about what she's done; when being punished for her actions she presents no resistance whatsoever.

=== Ka-Son ===

Ka-Son ([[Nicole Randall Johnson]]) is a fast talking African American woman that does her job and has little sympathy for customers. She usually ends up arguing with them and her catchphrase is "you're welcome", which is usually shouted at the customer after they are annoyed at her and shout "thank you".

=== BBC News ===
This skit ran once in the thirteenth season and satirized [[BBC News]] and made fun of British people using the stereotypes of bad teeth and confusing slang.  The anchor was Richard Beck ([[Michael McDonald]]). The first story was about ''the reported rumble in [[Parliament of the United Kingdom|parliament]]'', the reporter was Brady Poppins ([[Keegan-Michael Key]]). The second was ''Queen Watch'', the reporter was Diane Prissy ([[Crista Flanagan]]). Followed by that report was the sports report with Wally Balls ([[Jordan Peele]]), who appears to be crazy. After that is breaking news about the Queen, The Queen's spokesperson Hadden Puddlejump Stinkapuss ([[Dan Oster]]), who is [[deformed]], reporting ''the queen is dead''. After that the entire newsteam cried.

=== Average Asian ===
This series of skits involved Hideki (Bobby Lee) in different situations in which the people around him say stereotypical things to him, believing that he does things like knowing martial arts, having the ability to fix electronics, and likes eating sushi among others. However, out of these various stereotypes, only two were proven truthful, one involving ninjas where Hideki summoned a pack of ninja at his tormentors when he is gets too annoyed on his birthday and one where he proved he was an expert [[Table tennis|Ping Pong]] player .

=== Sean the Floor Leader ===
A series of skits involving Sean Gidcomb ([[Michael McDonald]]), the floor leader of a business, watching over the office. He, for some reason, never leaves his swivel chair unless he falls off it while rolling back into his quarters or out of the room.

In one episode, Sean was fired and had been replaced by Shane ([[Neil Patrick Harris]]). Sean had trained him for the job, so much that he turned into a clone of Sean himself swivel chair and all. In the end Shane reveals that he only acted like Sean to get on his good side.

His catch phrase is Sneaky snake referring to one of the employies talking about him behind his back.

=== Bible Dude ===
A series of sketches involving [[Michael McDonald]] as Bible Dude, a Christ loving superhero who stops children from doing things forbidden by the Bible. The sketches were a television show on the PAX television network. If anyone says or mentions something that's considered a sin (ex: homosexuality), Bible Dude would zap them until they're just a skeleton. [[Aries Spears]] occasionally appeared as [[Jesus Christ]].

=== Stan McNer the Java Man ===
Stan McNer ([[Pat Kilbane]]) is a man who has bulging eyes and is addicted to [[caffeine]].

== References ==
{{reflist}}
{{Primarysources|date=March 2007}}

{{MADtv}}

[[Category:MADtv sketches|Recurring characters]]