==Potato summit==
Introduction: Potato Summit is a political party that was created in 1997 and is now beginning to amass vast numbers of supporters. However, if you asked a Potato Summitist if they were a Potato Summitist, they would not be able to tell you the truth, for some people are trying to rid the world of them. Some people would say it is a Golden Age for Potato Summitism, but they are wrong. In an ideal world, every major political office in the world would be held by a Potato Summitist, and every civilian would have a Potato Summitist vote. At the moment, this is not the case. There are a few Potato Summitists working on the inside for the government, but since many Potato Summitists are persecuted, they could not let their identities be known at this time. However, it is the dawn of a new era. Soon, soon we will live in a Potato Summitist world, practicing the religion of Potato Summitism, Sal-monism.
Rules of a Potato Summitist Society: Like any form of government, a Potato Summitist government has laws. The following is a list of things that are banned from Potato Summit. (Anything found on the banned list shall be destroyed immediately.)
1. Stupid people
2. Republicans
3. Erasable pens
4. Anyone with the name "Clark"
5. Napoleon Dynamite
6. Moldy bread
7. Math teachers who say proofs may someday be used in everyday life
8. People who pretend to be stupid in an attempt to look cool
9. Jessica Simpson
10. George W. Bush
11. Goths
12. Feminists
13. People that quote lines from movies
14. Child molestors
15. Religious zealots
16. Males with pierced ears
17. Fat people
18. Diet pills
19. Canadians
20. Cuba
21. People that laugh at everything
22. Old milk
23. Nazis
24. People that think the world revolves around them
25. Lazy people
26. Cynical people
27. Lazy cynical people
28. Anyone that lives in the Southern US
29. People that don't vote
30. Anyone with a mohawk
31. The phrase "oh-snap"
32. The comics "For better or for worse," "Family Circus," and "Rhymes with Orange"
33. People that burp loudly and think it's funny
34. The concept of chivalry
35. France
36. Iraq
37. Iran
38. Pakistan
39. Hippies
40. Sporks
41. Really short people that aren't midgets
42. Really tall people
43. People that wear hats with flattened out rims because they believe it makes them look cool.
44. Rap
45. Dirty ice
46. The Periodic Table of Elements
47. Anyone with four different colors in their hair
48. Oysters
49. Paper cuts
50. Suspenders
51. People that just aren't cool
52. People who talk on cell phones during movies
53. People who talk on cell phones while driving
54. People who talk on cell phones
55. The Spanish language
56. Prepositions
57. Accents
58. Games that are obviously fixed
59. People that talk or write like they're on AIM.
60. People who are constantly on AIM.
61. AIM
62. Posers
63. Obnoxious elitists
64. People that pretend they can speak a foreign language fluently
65. Alcoholics
66. Smokers
67. Drug addicts
68. Heretics
69. People that go to private schools
70. People that don't bathe
71. Dust
72. Men with ponytails
73. Flavored water
74. Idiots
75. People that pretend to be technological experts
76. People that sneeze more than three times in a row
77. People that don't cover their nose when they sneeze
78. People that use tanning beds
79. People that pretend to be blind
80. Disease
81. Insects
82. People that don't cover their mouth when they yawn
83. Sentimental birthday cards
84. Infidels
85. People who call themselves "hackers"
86. People who chew witht their mouth open
87. People who rip jeans to look cool
88. People who fade jeans to look cool
89. People who do anything to jeans to look cool
90. People who wear anklets
91. People who make belts out of ties
92. People who talk about X-box games constantly
93. People who are nationally ranked in Halo and thinks it makes them cool
94. Halo
95. Canadian money
96. People who wear shorts in the winter
97. People who wear hats backwards or sideways
98. Rally caps
99. People who think they can dance but can't
100. People who can dance
101. Dalmations
102. Yankees fans
103. Yankees players
104. People who "respect" the Yankees
105. Lottery winners
106. Moths
107. Books with bad anti-climactic, abrupt endings
109. The numbers 5, 14, 23, and 73
110. Girls that refuse to shave
111. Hairy people
112. Mopeds
113. Chalk boards
114. Wet chalk boards
115. People who over analyze things
116. Whiny people
117. People that are expert wine tasters
118. People that claim to be expert wine tasters
119. Fat, sweaty people
120. McDonalds
121. The fact that America has the highest obesity rate in the world
122. Somalia and their lack of government
123. Farm animals
124. Artificial light anything
125. The hole in the ozone layer
126. People that go on "ski trips" every weekend
127. Lunchables
128. Housewives that complain about movies and television being innappropriate
129. Slinkies
130. Starbursts
131. People with baseball card collections
132. Pens in language labs
133. Saboteurs
134. Robots (that aren't for our cause)
135. People that wear way too much makeup
136. People that wear perfume
137. Odd numbers
138. People that practice their golf swings which you talk to them
139. Grave robbers
140. Insanely salty food
141. Insanely spicy food
142. Vegatarians
143. Vegans
144. Houses that are shaped weird
145. Anyone that owns a yacht
146. That girl in Jurassic Park
147. People that refer to themselves in the third person
148. Combs
149. Ignorant people
150. Naive people
151. People that use the phrase "pardon my French"
152. People that use cliches
152. People that use similes like there's no tomorrow
153. Jumbo shrimp
154. People with loud voices
155. Oxymorons
156. Animals that still move once they're killed
157. People that say spiders are bugs
158. People that say whales are fish
159. People who try to get books banned
160. Commercials/TV with sexual content/innuendos
161. Vegetarian meat
162. Diet soda
163. Diet pills
164. Diet anything, get off your ass and excercise
165. Termites
166. Solar powered calculators
167. Gogurt
168. Xtreme anything
169. People with red hair
170. Children in general
171. People who laugh nervously at everything they say
172. People with nicknames like T-bone, or Bull-dog
173. High socks
174. People with insanely long fingernails
175. Britney Spears
176. Jenny Jones
177. Rosie O'Donnell
178. Mariah Carey
179. Ashley Simpson
180. Basically anyone or anything that can be labeled as part of "pop culture"
181. People that have a lisp
182. The word "Zimbabwe"
183. Whores
184. People that don't know when to shut up
185. Exit signs
186. People with back acne
187. People that listen to cell phone ring tones in public
188. The movie "Street Fighters"
189. The movie "Titanic"
190. The movie "The Core"
191. Any movie with Hilary Swank
192. The show "OC"
193. Red and green pens
194. Yellow markers
195. Right triangles
196. The Lifetime Network
197. MTV
198. People with two different color eyes
199. Sarcastic people
200. Gingerbread
201. People that make lists
202. Vanilla extract
203. Cantaloupe
204. Carrots
205. People that say they're "nasty" at Halo
206. People that belong to country clubs
207. Country music
208. People that belong to shooting ranges
209. People that take paintballing serioiusly
210. People who think cheerleading is a sport
211. Frisbee-golf
212. Strawberry milkshakes
213. People that buy all the Madden footbal games
214. American Idol
215. John Kerry
216. Ralph Nader
217. Poor sharpie substitutes
218. Goat Meat Substitute
219. Freezing Computers
220. Computers that Freeze
221. Freeze that Computers
222. Teachers who suck
223. Meatballs that suck
224. The word suck
225. Fencers
226. Tejadilla Haters
227. Trees that look at you funny
228. Rocks that look at you funny
229. People who pay their taxes
230. People who heatwave hotpockets
231. Garfield's fatness
232. Two line rhymes in Shakespeare Novels
233. Linux
234. People who think that Linux is an operating software.
235. The Weather Channel
236. Family Feud
237. The Rip Off of Family Feud on the spanish channel
238. Punch bowls with insufficient amounts cyanide in them
239. Disco
240. Disco Balls
There will be more laws of Potato Summit posted as they are created. An article on the complex religion of Sal-mon will be posted soon as well. For any questions about Potato Summit or Sal-mon, send an email to <address removed>
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