Revision 1531032 of "Talk:Australian Paralympic cycling team officially revealed for London 2012" on enwikinews

==Reporter's Notes:==
Announcement made by Australian Paralympic Committee and Cycling Australia in Adelaide.<br />
News item not yet picked up in mainstream media.<br />
Launch attended by Wikimedia Photographer: Bilby 
<br />
Photos taken at the announcement:
* http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:South_Australian_Paralympic_Cyclists_2012.jpg
* http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jayme_Paris_2012.jpg
* http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Scott_McPhee_and_Kieran_Modra_riding_02.jpg
* http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Scott_McPhee_and_Kieran_Modra_riding_01.jpg
* http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Scott_McPhee_01.jpg
* http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Scott_McPhee_02.jpg
* http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Stephanie_Morton_and_Felicity_Johnson_riding.jpg
[[User:Melissa Carlton|Melissa Carlton]] ([[User talk:Melissa Carlton|talk]]) 11:58, 12 June 2012 (UTC)

:I just wanted to confirm that I attended the event at the invitation of the Australian Paralympic Committee as an Australian Wikimedia representative to take the photographs listed above. The details covered at the event match the press release, and I had a chance to speak to the attending competitors (and their parents, in some cases) and can confirm the details through them. I have the APC press pack from the event, which also covers much the same material as the press release with the addition of bios of the athletes, and passed on a copy to Melissa. - [[User:Bilby|Bilby]] ([[User talk:Bilby|talk]]) 05:25, 13 June 2012 (UTC)

== Review of revision 1528672 [Not ready] ==

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* The term ''verifiability'' isn't perfectly descriptive of what I have in mind, but of the five criteria listed on the review template, it's the heading this best fits under.  I'll also mention things that would fall under ''copyright'' and ''NPOV'', though I didn't check those on the review form.
* The headline presents this as an article about the announcement of the team.  However, the [[WN:lede|lede]] mentions that only as an incidental; its apparent main focus is on Modra.  The headline, lede, and body of the article should all agree on what the focus is.
* Re "copyright", I noticed three points.  Most trivially, there was the use of "fifteen-strong"; really, that's a peculiar word choice that there's no need to imitate; as I said, trivial.  Then there's "number seven for Modra", which is both a distinctive turn of phrase that there's no need to imitate, and violates the low-level rule-of-thumb to avoid copying verbatim more than three consecutive words from a source.  But the biggest problem, in scale, is with the now-fourth paragraph, where there are two long runs verbatim and the first is a claim that should be attributed (which is an NPOV concern): "one of the most anticipated sports at London 2012" is verbatim from source, as is "one of Australia's most successful".  The claim about anticipation needs to be attributed, identifying who claimed it.  Note one oughtn't be looking to merely make minimal changes to these sorts of passages to avoid the four-consecutive-word thing, either; avoid imitating phrase, sentence, and of course overall structure as well.
* This article has effectively only one source, the APC press release.  The article is, in effect, a shortened version of that press release.  Accuracy, which is just one of the reasons for requiring two independent sources, ''might'' be satisfied by OR, but, granting a wm photographer was there, there aren't really any OR notes beyond proof of attendance, and there's nothing in the article that isn't in the press release (except the bit about vertebrae).|time=20:51, 13 June 2012 (UTC)}}

== Reporter notes ==

I'm not sure if this will be of much of value, but these are my notes from the event. I'll ask my wife to look over this as well.

We attended the announcement of the Australian Paralympics Cycling on June 12 at the [[w:Adelaide Super-Drome|Adelaide Super-Drome]] as photographers. The event got underway at 11:00 am.

Present were five athletes who had been selected: Kieran Modra, Scott McPhee (pilot), Jayme Paris, Felicity Johnson and Stephanie Morton (pilot). Stephanie, Felicity, Scott and Kieran are all from South Australia, and Jayme was over from NSW. Also present and speaking were Rebekka Wake as the coordinator for Public Relations & Marketing and Jason Hellwig, Chef de Mission and Australian Paralympic Committee (APC) Chief Executive. Others present included two camera crews, one press photographer, and others from APC along with some members of the athlete's familes. I have photos of all the speaking attendees if needed.

The event started with a brief introduction by Rebekka before the list of athletes was read out by Jason Hellwig. I didn't write down the names as they were included in the press pack, but listed were:

* Nigel Barley (WA)
* Carol Cooke (VIC)
* [[w:Michael Gallagher (cyclist)|Michael Gallagher]] (VIC)
* Alexandra Green (NSW)
* [[w:Felicity Johnson|Felicity Johnson]] (SA)
* Simone Kennedy (NSW) 
* [[w:Bryce Lindores|Bryce Lindores]] (QLD)
* [[w:Kieran Modra|Kieran Modra]] (SA) 
* David Nicholas (QLD)
* [[w:Jayme Paris|Jayme Paris]] (NSW)
* Susan Powell (ACT) 
* Stuart Tripp (VIC)
* [[w:Mark Jamieson|Mark Jamieson]] (TAS - pilot for Bryce Lindores)
* Scott McPhee (SA - pilot for Kieran Modra)
* Stephanie Morton (SA - pilot for Felicity Johnson)

Particular mention was made of Nigel Barley, as he would be competing in the handcycling event, and Kieran Modra, who would be attending his seventh Paralympics and who had won 4 gold in previous years.

Rebekka then asked questions of each of the athletes. Of particular note was a discussion with Kieran, who she asked to describe the difficulties he had with preperation for the games. He had been in two accidents, in one breaking his collarbone and in the other breaking his neck and back.

After the official part, we took photos of the athletes. We spoke to Jayme Paris, who expressed her excitment at attending. She reiterated a point she had made in the official part, about being very happy with her bronze at the previous Paralympics, but stated that she hoped to do better - she wanted gold or silver, but would still be happy with bronze. She also commented on how much she liked the training track at Newport, but hadn't tried the official Paralympics one yet, and mentioned how many of her family would be going, including some who live in Wales. Accordingly, she felt that the games would be the next best thing to a home Paralympics. Photo of Jayme from the session is at: [[:File:Jayme Paris 2012.jpg]]

After speaking with Jayme we photographed Felicity and Stephanie, who then demonstrated their riding around the track on the tandem cycle. (We have some photos of the two together, and I'll see if my wife can upload hers to Commons as it came out better than mine). Photo of them cycling is at: [[:File:Stephanie Morton and Felicity Johnson riding.jpg]]

This led into a group shot. While waiting we spoke with one of the officials present, who described how Kieran's cycle had to be modified by being extended due to his height. We also heard about how the 2012 track was to be a fast one, so they were hoping to break some records at the event. We got a number of group photos. One is at: [[:File:South Australian Paralympic Cyclists 2012.jpg]]. We have others, and one of my wife's I particularly like, so I'll ask her to upload it later.

Finally, there was a demonstration of the cycling by Scott and Kieran. Photos: [[:File:Scott McPhee and Kieran Modra riding 01.jpg]] & [[:File:Scott McPhee and Kieran Modra riding 01.jpg]]

[[User:Bilby|Bilby]] ([[User talk:Bilby|talk]]) 00:46, 14 June 2012 (UTC)

== Stale-ish? ==

As best I can tell, the actual text of the article is 99% synthesis, and the photos are the only original reporting item. Since this is now four days old, it is tending towards {{tl|stale}} on that basis. As has been done previously, it can bbe moved to userspace if there's a desire to retain it for 'lessons learned'. --[[User:Brian McNeil|''Brian McNeil'']] / <sup>[[User talk:Brian McNeil|''talk'']]</sup> 07:27, 16 June 2012 (UTC)

== Review of revision 1531011 [Not ready] ==

<!-- Submitted using easy peer review - MediaWiki:Gadget-easyPeerReview.js --> {{peer_reviewed|revid=1531011|copyright=n/a|newsworthy=See below.|verifiable=n/a|npov=n/a|style=n/a|reviewer=Pi zero|comments=<br/>
* This is [[WN:fresh|stale]].  Regardless of whether one believes the OR claim is justified, there is no information here that comes exclusively from the OR, so the OR can't possibly have any benefit for freshness.  The information content hasn't changed since the first review, except for removal of a too-close-to-source in-need-of-attribution passage.
* The difficulty with the focus of the lede has not changed.
* To clarify the situation re OR notes:  The only reason for the OR in the earlier version, as best I understood, was redundant confirmation of the event to placate the two-source rule.  On consultation with another reviewer after the first review, they suggested that the lack of non-press-release information needn't be an obstacle to publication, but admitted they were somewhat uncomfortable with the of confirmation of specific details in the OR notes.|time=13:25, 16 June 2012 (UTC)}}
: As noted by brianmc, we can move this to author's user space if desired.  --[[User:Pi zero|Pi zero]] ([[User talk:Pi zero|talk]]) 13:26, 16 June 2012 (UTC)