Difference between revisions 1883832 and 1883835 on enwiki

Page 4 [[Wikipedia:Even more bad jokes and other deleted nonsense|(Previous)]] [[Wikipedia:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense|(First)]]
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''See [[Wikipedia:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense]] for an explanation and the complete listing of BJAODN pages, and [[Wikipedia:More bad jokes and other deleted nonsense]] for earlier contributions. 

''Please add all new additions to this page.''
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From [[Alarm Clock Pizza]]:

How you make Alarm Clock Pizza is:

''Step 1:'' You bi a alarm clock from the store, and then you hav to brake it and put it in the sos.

''Step 2:'' Fold the sos in 5 slises and put it in the doh.

''Step 3:'' Paint the eggs with a piccher uv a clock showing wat time you want to wake up and eat pizza for brekfist.

''Step 4:'' Put the eggs in the doh.

''Step 5:'' Make it flat into a round shape and draw the time you want on ther.

''Step 6:'' Put sum old steel to prevent uther peple from steeling it.

''Step 7:'' Make it flat and cut into 60 slices 1 for ech minit in 1 awr.

''Step 7 and a haf:'' poo on it

''Step 8:'' Put in the uvin set the timer to 30048813.2884 secends and put the tempercer on 'Volcano' seting.

''Step 9:'' If you think it is take to long, then get yor alarm clock and set it to now so that it will ring and you can take it out.

''Step 10:'' Take it out uv the uvin wen it is redy and go to bed. In the morning eat pizza and also eat yor hands bi mistake.

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From [[New Rome]]:

The "NEW ROME" is identical to "OLD ROME" except for the areas where it is different. The primary differences lie in the fact that the OLD ROME is much older than the NEW ROME, which is significantly newer. In addition to the newness of the NEW ROME, it is also important to note that NEW ROME when spelled backwards is EMOR WEN; whereas the OLD ROME spelled backwards is EMOR DLO.

Aside from these differences, the two are essentially identical... except for the flapjacks. 
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(from "Pillsbury Doughboy")

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as "Brown-n-Serve," Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. 

Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including [[Mrs. Butterworth]], the [[California Raisins]], [[Hungry Jack]], [[Aunt Jemima]], [[Betty Crocker]], the [[Hostess Twinkies]], and [[Skippy]]. 

The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." 

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up. 

Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. He enjoyed being prodded by his many friends who invariably poked fun at him. 

Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven. 

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

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''From: [[Philosophy for Non-Philosophers]]''

If you are not the [[philosophy]] type, you can, by reading this, have the simplest answers to any philosophical question somebody might possibly ask you (or you can just read it and maybe get a few laughs)!  Enjoy.

1)  Why are we here?  Because we're here.

2)  Why do things happen?  Because they do.

3)  What is our purpose?  To be here.

4)  What is the point?  Something sharp.

5)  What if the [[Hokey-Pokey]] really IS what it's all about?  **NO ANSWER**

6)  If we really are the only [[sentient]] beings in the [[universe]], it sure would be a big waste of space.

I might come up with more, but feel free to add your own in!

Also see:  [[Philosophy]], [[Philosopher]], [[Eastern philosophy]], [[List of philosophers]]

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From [[Nonsense]]

When the sun set in the sky, fire danced and faeries came out to play. Slowly the moon rose in the south and lit the world with a pale light. Night had begun and the inhabitants of Theslon, the largest natural satelite of Qyrste, rejoiced. All would be fulfilled.

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==[[Useless]]==
This article is [[utterly]] '''useless'''.

Though, not all that is '''useless''' is this article (See: "[[Logic]]").

''[[Wikipedia:Wikipedia is not a dictionary|Wikipedia is not a dictionary]]. For a dictionary definition, see [http://wiktionary.org/wiki/Useless Wiktionary:Useless]''
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From [[Evolution]]:

================SCIENCE FICTION===================

For the real truth about biological evolution visit: http://www.answersingenesis.org

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From [[Ciccaba]]:

From the burning alps of Miami, a treasure bin with a jewish face, and a practical smile, comes the Ciccaba, or for short, Jewish Delight. In 1989, a scientist by the name of Ward Garcenton discovered a cup of warm cider. To his surprise, it wasn't cider, but a sample of urine, from the rare Ciccaba. Taken to the lab that afternoon, Ward realized his Grandma had herpes.
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From [[Bee mine]]:

A '''bee mine''' might also be a [[mine]] where bees are extracted.  Unfortunately, this is impossible as bees are animals and not minerals.
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From [[Cydonia]]:

Cydonia is an ancient civilization that once contained the entire population of inhabitants on the planet Mars. Little is known about this once large "mega-city" built below the surface. Apparrently deserted for approximately half a million years, there is little evidence of whether it was evacuated or the huminoid Martians were somehow destroyed. Previous space-probe missions to the red planet have revealed little about this advanced civilization. Continuing efforts are being undertaken to explore the resources that once fed Cydonia. Water systems would prove especially useful for future colonisation of Mars. The upcoming 2007-8 manned Mars mission, the first of it's kind, will reveal much about the habitability of the harsh planet.

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From [[Cowan, Tennessee]], added by [[user:Sam Klondike]]:

:Cowan is an ancient hamlet settled in coves of the Cumberland Plateau founded in 1774 by one John Cowan the oldest cemetery in Cowan was founded in 1776. Before the arrival of John Cowan and the settlers Cowan was home to Cherokee and Crowe indians who engaged in bitter conflicts over trading rights at Lynda's Market. The coming of the Balrog in 1547 C.E. resulted in the complete destruction of Lynda's Market and the subsequent arrival of Browns Pool Hall. Complete control of Browns Pool Hall was vested in one known only as"popcorn" His name has been lost to antiquity.

:Geographically Cowan is small compared to the rest of the country it is really pretty tiny it has only two stoplights. However, our Little League ball fields are the envy of the county and I'd dare say they are jsut as good as any of your big city ball fields. Our town also boasts a school, 2 convinece stores, a liquor store(closed only on the Lords day), a grocery, 10 churches,4 bars, 6 restuaraunts, a broken down car wash, an out of business laundrymat, and a gun shop, and 27 shade tree mechanics. For recreation "Cowanites" enjoy hunting,fishing, hunting, working on cars, looking for wild animals to kill, beating and chasing dogs, riding around, plowing up dirt, staring into the sun, looing for fish, building cars out of old rusted out parts, shooting things and sometimes people, drinking a lot, going to church on sundays, eating gravey and a biscuit.

:The current mayor of Cowan is the infamous "Chick" Tucker. A veteran of WWII and former employee of the Cowan Limestone Quarry which shut its doors in the early eighties. This great catatastrophe resulted in mass unemployment and an exodus of "Cowanites" who subsequently fled into the hills never to be seen again.

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[[Coeducation]]: Remarkably, after a little more than than a century in the mainstream higher education system of the [[United States]], American women now earn the majority of [[bachelor's degree]]s and account for 60% of the enrolled [[undergraduate]] population. - (<b>Nelson:</b> "<I>Ah</I>-ha!")

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From [[Stuart Murdoch]]:

:Stuart is noted for his love of fine Dutch cheese, his unusually large sexual member, and his reluctance to cut his hair properly.  He weighs exactly 89lbs., and is said to smell of pine tree.

:Stuart grew up with 3 sisters, 1 brother, and a cat named Hairy Balls.
Of Stuart's siblings, only 1 is not jealous of his success.

:Stuart had a passionate love affair with his car Max, but recently auctioned Max off on ebay, like a pimp selling his girls to the highest bidder.

:Stuart is not quite as cute as some people on the B&S Forum would have you believe, but he's certainly better looking than Patti Smith.

Better looking than Patti Smith?  Un-likely! ([[User:Ihcoyc|Smerdis of Tlön]])
⏎
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From [[Abelian grape]]:
The Abelian grape meets the criteria of:
1. Being Purple
2. Commutes

Although Abelian grapes are similar to [[Abelian group]]s one must be careful and note the subtle differences.