Difference between revisions 1454408 and 1454602 on enwikiquote

'''''[[w:Mock_the_Week|Mock the Week]]''''' (2005-current) is a [[w:Britain|British]] [[w:Satire|satirical]] comedy panel show created by Angst Productions and aired by the [[w:BBC|BBC]]. It is hosted by [[w:Dara Ó Briain|Dara Ó Briain]] currently in its eleventwelfth season.

== Season 1 ==
=== 5 June 2005 [1.01] ===
:'''[[w:Frankie Boyle|Frankie Boyle]]''': [''On the topic of education''] The government's new education policy, apparently, is to make children stay at school till they're 18. That's just not living in the modern world, is it? 17-year-olds having to go to school; who's going to pick up their kids from primary?

==== Inside The Mind of: George W. Bush ====
(contracted; show full)
:'''Hugh Dennis''': The tragedy is that this blindness is caused by ignorance. With your help, we can stop these people masturbating.
:'''Andy Parsons''': Everything we raise today will go to Charity, a lap dancer who's 19 and I'm particuarly fond of.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Tonight, we're raising money for Dara O Briain. We work, so he doesn't have to.


== Series 12 ==

=== 14th June 2012 [12.01] ===

==== Scenes We'd Like To See: Unlikely Things To Hear In An Awards Ceremony ====
:'''Chris Addison''': And the winner is Dara O'Briain! (Dara flips Chris off and presses the buzzer)
:'''Nathan Caton''': And the award for Driver Of The Year goes to David Cameron for his pefectly executed U-turn!
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Welcome to the National Insincerity Awards. And can I say what a pleasure it is to be here.
:'''Chris Addison''': And Soap Of The Year goes to... (imitates open to "Eastenders") "Coronation Street"!
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Would you please welcome your host for the night... Dec.
:'''Micky Flanagan''': And the award for Best Actress this evening goes to John Travolta's wife.
:'''Chris Addison''': Father Of The Year is... David Cameron!
:'''Greg Davies''': And predictably for the 50th year running, the Rear Of The Year has been won by the same man. Come on up, Chris. (silence) It's a Chris Rear joke.
:'''Nathan Caton''': And the award for Best Film... Cling. Cling film. 
*:'''Greg Davies''': Oh. That was alright then, wasn't it? It's all bullshit, Dara.
*:'''Dara O'Briain''': It's all politics, man.
:'''Chris Addison''': This is the point in the Psychic Awards where we like to remember those we lost next year.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Well, they said it was ill-advised, but welcome to the first Witness Protection Scheme Awards.
:'''Andy Parsons''': And the award for Most Cleveage On View goes to Eamonn Holmes' ass!
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Well now, our final category: Category C. There are three sex offenders nominated tonight...
:'''Micky Flanagan''': And I'd just like to say to the wife at home, you better not beat around when I get home, 'cause I'm big time now, sister.
:'''Greg Davies''': And the Best Post-Humously Released Rap Record goes to Kim Jong for "I Told You I Was Ill". (wild applause) Too late! Too late!
:'''Andy Parsons''': And to Present Best Film In A Foreign Language, would you please welome Nick Griffin.
:'''Greg Davies''': And the winner of Rear Of The Year goes to Chris Rear! (wild applause)

==== Unlikely Lines From A Thriller ====
:'''Hugh Dennis''': What more evidence do you need there is a mole? Look at the lawn!
:'''Andy Parsons''': Your wife's head in a box. You must be the most unlucky contestant ever on "Deal Or No Deal".
:'''Chris Addison''': What color wire do I have to cut? The lilac, the mauve, the salmon pink, or the fuschia?
:'''Greg Davies''': I want to make you a vodka martini. You can't handle vermouth!
:'''Andy Parsons''': "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" she purred. "Yes, it ''is'' a gun in my pocket and I've just shot my cock off."
:'''Hugh Dennis''': I'm telling you there will be no attack. This is a side picked by Roy Hodgson.
:'''Nathan Caton''': So, Mr. Bond, we meet--- Ah! Flipping cat!
:'''Micky Flanagan''': I'm telling you captain, I work best alone! But sometimes in a team! Basically, I'm saying I'm flexible.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': So, Mr. Bond, we meet at last. Why didn't we ever Skype?
:'''Greg Davies''': I would like to lift your horse's foot. You can't handle the hoof!
:'''Chris Addison''': They had human liver with fava beans with a nice Chianti. But the entertainment was excellent, and he was a lovely host, so I'm gonna give Hannibal 7 out of 10.
:'''Micky Flanagan''': Here's Johnny! Do you mind? I'm trying to have a shit in here.
:'''Andy Parsons''': "This prostitute isn't dead," said the Norwegian detective. "She's just pining for the fjords."
:'''Greg Davies''': And as his eyes gradually became accustomed to the shadowy darkness, he realized he was not alone in that room. Who is it? It's me, Peter Andre!

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|0463827|Mock the Week}}
[[Category:Current shows]]