Difference between revisions 1456516 and 1456525 on enwikiquote

'''''[[w:Mock_the_Week|Mock the Week]]''''' (2005-current) is a [[w:Britain|British]] [[w:Satire|satirical]] comedy panel show created by Angst Productions and aired by the [[w:BBC|BBC]]. It is hosted by [[w:Dara Ó Briain|Dara Ó Briain]] currently in its twelfth season.

== Season 1 ==
=== 5 June 2005 [1.01] ===
(contracted; show full)n''': But he does-  the Tories have been going on Ed for ages 'bout the the fact that he looks like Wallace, but they've got absolutely no room to talk about this stuff.  Cameron looks like Iggle Piggle, Michael Gove looks like Pob, Eric Pickles looks like a Sontaran from DOCTOR WHO, Theresa May looks like Roy Hodgson in drag, Jeremy Hunt looks like Sebco (sp?) with a wasting disease, and if you get Ian Duncan Smith and William Hague together, they look like Yoda's bollocks!


==== If This Is The Answer, What Is The Question?: "Chickens, Nurses, & Rain" ====
:'''Carl Donnelly''': Is it "What Does Heston Blumenthal put in a trifle?"
:'''Milton Jones": Is it "Name three things"?
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Is it "What are the most used sound effects in the radio drama ''Monsoon Poultry Hospital''?"
:'''Andy Parsons''': What are the three main things featured in the film ''Golden Dawn''?
:'''Chris Addison''': Is it "What three things have a higher IQ than the entire cast of ''The Only Way Is Essex''?"
:'''Andy Parsons''': Is it all the things that my gran says are stealing her money when I go and visit her in the home?
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Is it "What additional three things did Churchill think we should fight them on?"
:'''Jo Caulfield''': Is it what Greece is planning to use as currency when the leave the Euro?
:'''Andy Parsons''': Name three things you won't find in a chicken nugget.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Is it "What are the opening directions in the television drama ''Monsoon Poultry Hospital''?"
:'''Chris Addison''': What was the name of Foghorn Leghorn's controversial early career porn film?
*:''[Answer: Things being featured in the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics in London.]''⏎
⏎
==== Scenes We'd Like to See: Unlikely Things to Hear At EURO 2012 ====
:'''Andy Parsons''': And there we see in the stands, John Terry's wife.  And with his arm around her, Rio Ferdinand.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Well, this French team has three strikers.  Luckily, the other eight have agreed to play.
:'''Milton Jones''': Tonight's game is in the incredible city of Kiev.  The outskirts are sort of crispy-crumbly.
:'''Chris Addison''': And Holland are two-down.  Yes!  I've finished the crossword.
:'''Andy Parsons''': And the Greeks have reached the quarter-final!  If only they'd had a massive bet on that...
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Oh, that's a bad one!  You can see the bone sticking right out!  These Ukrainian meat pies really are awful...
:'''Jo Caulfield''': And now, over to Mark Lawrenson, who has something really interesting to say.
:'''Chris Addison''': Well, I've never seen '''that''' on a pitch before, i. It seems the referee really '''is''' a wanker.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': No, mate.  This is row six.  You're row two-thousand and twelve.
:'''Milton Jones''': (in Russian accent) Here in Ukraine, we have launched campaign.  Kick football out of racism.
:'''Carl Donnelly''': And that is some '''incredible''' dribbin' there, from the Irish supporters. (crowd groans) Sorry.
:'''Jo Caulfield''': And things are about to turn ugly as we go back to the studio to Adrian Chiles.
:'''Andy Parsons''': And it's Germany against Greece!  The ultimate dilemma for the British royal family!
:'''Carl Donnelly''': That is, quite simply, some wonderful defending there from John Terry's legal team.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Well, the Russians and Ukrainians are going to settle this with a shootout.  No penalties, just a shootout.
:'''Andy Parsons''': So, Germany are camped in the Polish half!  Not for the first time...
:'''Chris Addison''': And Rooney's trying to get around the keeper, but his keeper's not letting him out of his cage...

==== Things That You Wouldn't Hear On A Political Discussion Show ====
:'''Milton Jones''': Sorry, did I interrupt you?
:'''Hugh Dennis''': No, nononono, sir.  No, no, you've had your say.  Now shut the fuck up.
:'''Andy Parsons''': 'Round the Table tonight... Eric Pickles.  And 'round another table, four other politicians.
:'''Milton Jones''': Sadomasochism is a perversion.  But we will clamp down on it!
:'''Carl Donnelly''': Tonight, we'll be discussing Greece.  First question, who'd win in a fight? : Danny Zuko or Kenickie?
:'''Andy Parsons''': So, Nick Clegg!  W, which of your two faces would you like to answer '''that''' question with?
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Yes, I agree, Britain's performance in the second quarter has not been all we hoped for, but there is a reason for that! : This is a tough job, and I'm shit at it.
:'''Milton Jones''': We will '''NOT''' let Abu Hamza off the hook!
:'''Chris Addison''': Well, Mister Dimblebeey, '''my''' question is; if '''I''' were a beleaguered European economy, how would '''you''' stimulate my growth?  And that goes to contestant number three.
:'''Jo Caulfield''': Of ''course'' I '''understand''' that people are worried about schools and hospitals, but what '''you''' don't understand is I don't give a shit.
:'''Chris Addison''': Is aAnyone else horny?
:'''Carl Donnelly''': And now we're gonna head over and see what the polls are telling us... HULLO!
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Right, now, let's go over to Wales and see what they're saying to us. (mooing noise)
:'''Andy Parsons''': And so we have a question here for the Prime Minister from Nancy Cameron, aged eight.   And it's...: "wWhen are you going to pick me up, daddy?"

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|0463827|Mock the Week}}
[[Category:Current shows]]