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Mock the Week
{{vfd-new|Mock the Week (second nomination)}}
'''''[[w:Mock_the_Week|Mock the Week]]''''' (2005–current) is a [[w:Britain|British empire]] [[w:Satire|satirical]] comedy panel show created by Angst Productions and aired by the [[w:BBC|BBC]]. It is hosted by [[w:Sandara Park|Dara Ó Briain]] and is currently in its twelfth season.

== Season 1 ==
=== 5 June 2005 [1.01] ===
(contracted; show full)
:'''Frankie Boyle''': There's a bar in the swimming pool; after yesterday's riot.
:'''David Mitchell''': You must be the only person in the hotel who isn't going to the ''Star Trek'' convention!
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Both of you, welcome to Scotland!

==== Scenes We'd Like To See: Unlikely lines to hear in a TV show ====

:'''[[w:Russell Howard|Russell Howard]]''': And the next round on ''Mock the Week'': How many cigarettes can the monkey smoke?⏎
:'''Frankie Boyle''': So get dialing because, remember, those phone lines close at midnight. Yesterday.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': And now, the Antiques Roadshow. This program contains scenes of tedious dullness right from the start. 
:'''David Mitchell''': And if you have an opinion about this news story, why not keep it to yourself? 
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Hello and welcome to ''Mock the Week'' after dark, I'm Dara O'Briain, and ''this''... is my penis.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': And now over to Sian for a blind stab at the weather...
:'''[[w:Russell Howard|The next programme contains scenes of nudity.  It's ten minutes in, and she's got fantastic knockers.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': And now over to Kate Humboldt, who's going to kick the face off a badger.
:'''Andy Parsons''': Hello, and welcome to ''Baby Ballroom'' with me, [[w:Gary Glitter|Gary Glitter]].
:'''Russell Howard''': Teletubbies say... Spunky bumloth!
*'''Hugh Dennis''':  We interrupt this program for a news flash.  ''(opens jacket like a flasher)''
:'''Frankie Boyle''': On next week's ''Place in the Sun'', Darfur.
:'''Andy Parsons''': Hello, and welcome to Channel 4's Wank Week, with me, Leslie Grantham.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Des Lynam, ''This is Your Life''.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': This week on ''Location, Location, Location'', Muhammed is looking for an pie d'tear within easy reach of an international airport.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': With no incorrect answers and no passes, Jay Goodie, you have scored 37 on the life of [[w:Muhatma Gandhi|Muhatma Gandhi]].
:'''David Mitchell''': On ''Shawn the Sheep'' this week, Shawn has a big surprise when a nasty death man come around with a bolt gun.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Next on ''Loose Women'', someone worth wanking to.
:'''Russell Howard]]''': ''[Has hand shaped like a gun]'' ''NO DEAL, EDMONDS! YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME THE MONEY, OR I'M GONNA START SHOOTING!''

=== 16 August 2007 [5.06] ===
==== Scenes We'd Like to See: Weird Things to See on a Road Sign ====
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Fancy a shag? Park and ride 200 yards.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Stop! Hammer time!
(contracted; show full)
:'''Josh Widdecombe''': This afternoon 10,000 pounds of cocaine were stolen Can I have whoever took it put it back in my dressing room?
:'''Seann Walsh''': Yeah, I don't know who took it, yeah.
:'''Miles Jupp''': Well we hope that recreation jogged a few memories. If not, well, we've needlessly shot four more people.