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Mock the Week
{{vfd-new|Mock the Week (second nomination)}}
'''''[[w:Mock_the_Week|Mock the Week]]''''' (2005–current) is a [[w:Britain|British empire]] [[w:Satire|satirical]] comedy panel show created by Angst Productions and aired by the [[w:BBC|BBC]]. It is hosted by [[w:Sandara Park|Dara Ó Briain]] and is currently in its twelfth season.

== Season 1 ==
=== 5 June 2005 [1.01] ===
(contracted; show full)
:'''David Mitchell''': You must be the only person in the hotel who isn't going to the ''Star Trek'' convention!
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Both of you, welcome to Scotland!

==== Scenes We'd Like To See: Unlikely lines to hear in a TV show ====
:'''[[w:Russell Howard|Russell Howard]]''': And the next round on ''Mock the Week'': How many cigarettes can the monkey smoke?
*
:'''David Mitchell''': On ''Shawn the Sheep'' this week, Shawn has a big surprise when a nasty death man come around with a bolt gun.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': So get dialing because, remember, those phone lines close at midnight. Yesterday.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': And now, the Antiques Roadshow. This program contains scenes of tedious dullness right from the start. 
:'''David Mitchell''': And if you have an opinion about this news story, why not keep it to yourself? 
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Hello and welcome to ''Mock the Week'' after dark, I'm Dara O'Briain, and ''this''... is my penis.
::'''Russell Howard''': See, this is what what happens when you get questions wrong! ''(pretends to swing an imaginary penis around)''*
::'''Frankie Boyle''': Or right! ''(makes same motion)''*
::'''Russell Howard''': Or interesting! ''(pretends to take same penis and jerk it up and down)''⏎
:'''Hugh Dennis''': The next programme contains scenes of nudity.  It's happens about ten minutes in, and she's got fantastic knockers.*
:'''Frankie Boyle''': And now over to Kate Humboldt, who's going to kick the face off a badger.
:'''Andy Parsons''': Hello, and welcome to ''Baby Ballroom'' with me, [[w:Gary Glitter|Gary Glitter]].*
:'''Russell Howard''': Teletubbies say... Spunky bumloth!ve!*
:'''Hugh Dennis''':  We interrupt this program for a news flash.  ''(opens jacket like a flasher)''*
:'''Frankie Boyle''': On next week's ''Place in the Sun'', Darfur.*
:'''Andy Parsons''': Hello, and welcome to Channel 4's Wank Week, with me, Leslie Grantham.*
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Des Lynam, ''This is Your Life''.*
:'''Hugh Dennis''': This week on ''Location, Location, Location'', Muhammed is looking for an pie d'tear within easy reach of an international airport.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': With no incorrect answers and no passes, Jay Goodie, you have scored 37 on the life of [[w:Muhatma Gandhi|Muhatma Gandhi]].⏎
:'''David Mitchell''': On ''Shawn the Sheep'' this week, Shawn has a big surprise when a nasty death man come around with a bolt gun*
:'''Andy Parsons''': Hello, and welcome to ''India with Sanjee Basker'' and me, Jane Gooding.
:'''David Mitchell''': It's Shaskahovich week on ITV 1!
:'''Frankie Boyle''': On this week's ''Time Team'', Tony Robinson goes 'round to Fred West's old house.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': And now over to Shawn for a blind stab at the weather.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Next on ''Loose Women'', someone worth wanking to.*
:'''Russell Howard''': ''[Has hand shaped like a gun]'' ''NO DEAL, EDMONDS! YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME THE MONEY, OR I'M GONNA START SHOOTING!''

<nowiki>*</nowiki> - ''As heard on the Too Hot for TV DVD Vol. 5.''⏎
⏎
=== 16 August 2007 [5.06] ===
==== Scenes We'd Like to See: Weird Things to See on a Road Sign ====
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Fancy a shag? Park and ride 200 yards.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Stop! Hammer time!
:'''Ben Norris''': You are leaving Croydon. Well done.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Help me, I'm trapped in a sign making factory!
(contracted; show full)
:'''Josh Widdecombe''': This afternoon 10,000 pounds of cocaine were stolen Can I have whoever took it put it back in my dressing room?
:'''Seann Walsh''': Yeah, I don't know who took it, yeah.
:'''Miles Jupp''': Well we hope that recreation jogged a few memories. If not, well, we've needlessly shot four more people.