Difference between revisions 1631575 and 1631577 on enwikiquote

{{vfd-new|Mock the Week (second nomination)}}
'''''[[w:Mock_the_Week|Mock the Week]]''''' (2005–current) is a [[w:Britain|British empire]] [[w:Satire|satirical]] comedy panel show created by Angst Productions and aired by the [[w:BBC|BBC]]. It is hosted by [[w:Sandara Park|Dara Ó Briain]] and is currently in its twelfth season.

== Season 1 ==
=== 5 June 2005 [1.01] ===
(contracted; show full)=== 30 August 2007 [5.08] ===
=== 6 September 2007 [5.09] ===
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=== 13 September 2007 [5.10] ===
==== Scenes We'd Like to See: What a news reporter would never say ====
:'''Russell Howard''': Next on News 24, I'm gonna punch a zebra. Who cares? No one's watching. 

:'''Frankie Boyle''':  Rape, murder, arson.  I've had a fantastic weekend.⏎
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Here, children as young as eight are forced to make their own living. ''MORE POLISH, MORE POLISH, I WANT TO SEE MY FACE!''
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Here on the streets it seems that Britain is completely in the grip of gang culture. This is John Simpson ''[imitates gangster]'' for the ITN massive!
:'''[[w:Gina Yashere|Gina Yashere]]''': Can you hear the bombs falling? No? That's because they're in Baghdad, I'm here in Peckham.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Reports of a mystery man loitering in the area turned out to be me.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': ''[Bewildered]'' News just in: "Go to a break, your wife's been hit by a truck."
:'''[[w:Ed Byrne|Ed Byrne]]''': And it was just a few feet from here when the shots were fired. I know, I fired them. 
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Well, finally, the power in Beirut seems to be back on. The radiator I'm chained to is getting quite warm. 
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Even amidst the devastation of this earthquake, there are still stories of hope. I found a man's wallet!
:'''Andy Parsons''': ''[shaking his head]'' I- am- actually- in- my- bedroom- but- I'm- trying- to- make- it- look- like- I'm- in- Baghdad- on- a- satellite- phone.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': And I can't help but think that if my country was gripped by famine, I'd just move.
⏎
==== Unlikely letters to be read out on Points of View ====
::'''Gina Yashire''': They wouldn't make Trevor MacDonald do this shit.
:'''Frfankie Boyle''': And if anything can be learned from this high school massacre, it's surely this: Don't mess with Goths.  They're fucking mental.

==== Unlikely letters to be read out on Points of View ====
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Dear BBC, last night I was watching ''Songs of Praise'', masturbating furiously as usual.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Dear Points of View, can i complain about the gratuitous fucking swearing every fucking week on Mock the fucking Week? ⏎
'''Hugh Dennis''': Why, oh why, oh why... is the structure of my chromosomes. 
:'''Ed Byrne''': Dear BBC, I watched a light entertainment program on your network the other night that wasn't hosted by Graham Norton. Is he ill? 
:'''Russell Howard''': ''[Amazed tone]'' Dear BBC, [[w:BBC One 'Circle' idents|how did you manage to get those hippos to swim in a circle?]] 
:'''Gina Yashere''': Dear BBC, I am a Nigerian general with 30 million pounds to put in your bank account...
:'''Hugh Dennis''': ''[creepy voice]'' Last night I turned to your new porn channel, C-Boobies. 
:'''Frankie Boyle''': ''[weird voice]'' Dear Points Of View, I would like to complain about the weird voice you are reading out my letter in!
:'''Russell Howard''': Dear Points of View, has anyone else noticed that Pat Butcher looks a lot like the honey monster from the Sugar Puffs advert? 
:'''Andy Parsons''': Dear BBC, when are you going to show "Nuts on the Road"? NIM! NIM! NIM!
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Dear Points of View, I watched "''Silent Witness"'' with the sound off and it didn't make any sense!
:'''Ed Byrne''': Dear BBC, well it's now thirty years down the line and I'm no closer to owning a robotic housemaid. ''Tomorrow's World''? ''Tomorrow's Horseshit'', more like! 
:'''Frankie Boyle''': The other night I watched Nigella Lawson, and picked up a couple of good tips on baking bread. And in the process, I just about ripped my cock off.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Dear Points of View, watching "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" made me think that if I made gay friends they'd give me fashion tips. Actually, they fucked meDear Points of View, watching "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" made me think that if I made gay friends they'd give me fashion tips. Actually, they fucked me.
:'''Hugh Dennis''': Dear BBC, are you paying too much for your car insurance?
'''Russell Howard''': Dear BBC, please bring back the old idents.  Yours, that old black bloke in the Wilshires.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': The other night I watched Nigella Lawson, and picked up a couple of good tips on baking bread. And in the process, I just about ripped my cock off.

=== 20 September 2007 [5.11] ===
==== Headliners: Sir Menzies Campbell (P. M. O. C.) ====
:'''Russell Howard''': Is it the Lib-Dem leadership options? You got '''P'''issed '''M'''an '''O'''r '''C'''orpse.
(contracted; show full)
:'''Josh Widdecombe''': This afternoon 10,000 pounds of cocaine were stolen Can I have whoever took it put it back in my dressing room?
:'''Seann Walsh''': Yeah, I don't know who took it, yeah.
:'''Miles Jupp''': Well we hope that recreation jogged a few memories. If not, well, we've needlessly shot four more people.